


Lies

by mithrel



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Blanket Permission, M/M, Podfic Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-16
Updated: 2009-08-16
Packaged: 2017-11-10 09:17:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/464668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithrel/pseuds/mithrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things have been complicated, since Merlin came to Camelot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lies

Things have been complicated, since Merlin came to Camelot. Before, things were simple, and while Arthur was not precisely _self-aware,_ he at least wasn’t lying to himself.

Before, he knew what his duties were, what was expected of him. His father gave an order, and he carried it out, regardless of whether he agreed. Now, he’s questioning Uther’s orders, riding out to find a cure to save a servant, and smuggling a known magic-user out of Camelot. But he doesn’t believe magic is unequivocally evil, no matter what his father says. Not anymore.

He refuses to acknowledge how much Merlin’s changed him. He tells himself that he doesn’t look at Merlin’s skin (and how can someone who grew up in the country be that pale anyway?), doesn’t relish Merlin’s hands on him when he dresses him or puts on his armour and imagine those hands doing other things.

He constantly tells Merlin he’s insubordinate, and the worst manservant he’s ever had (which he is), an idiot (which he can be), and incompetent (which he’s not), to cover for the fact that Merlin is the closest thing to a real friend he’s ever had.

When he rides off to Ealdor after Merlin, he tells himself it’s because the village needs help that he can provide, and not because it’s _Merlin’s_ village. When he sees Merlin talking to that Will, he calls him over, telling himself he’s not jealous that Merlin has been friends with him for years, while Arthur has known him less than one, and that he just needs Merlin’s help. The fact that Will’s openly hostile to him doesn’t help.

When he finds out Will is a sorcerer, he’s not sure what to think. He feels guilty, because Will died saving his life, and he can’t help wondering if he ever saved Merlin’s. The thought of Will saving Merlin’s life, perhaps more than once, is disturbing. Arthur got the cure for the poison, but that could be considered repayment for Merlin saving his life when they first met, or the fact that the poison was intended for him. It wasn’t. He’d have done it anyway.

Since Merlin came to Camelot, Arthur has been lying to himself.

After all, he can’t admit he’s in love with a servant.


End file.
